Do you experience strong emotions such as anger, shame, fear or self hatred but find it hard or impossible to work out why?
Do certain situations such as being around children or other families bring up feelings of loss, grief or regret?
Then it’s possible that you lost a brother or sister before birth and you are still grieving.
What’s Vanishing Twin Syndrome?
Vanishing twin syndrome is the spontaneous loss or miscarriage of one developing baby early on in a multiple pregnancy. It is reported to occur in up to 36% of pregnancies up to the 12th week.
While mothers who experience the miscarriage of one or more children before the 12th week are increasingly receiving recognition and support for their loss, the situation for surviving children is very different.
Children who are the survivors of a twin pregnancy do not often know they are, or it’s mentioned to them as a loss for their parents but not them.
I had this gnawing sense of loss and shame since I can remember, but I just couldn’t get to the bottom of it. I thought there must be something wrong with meVinita.
Children and adults who have experienced the loss of a brother or sister in the womb don’t in my experience have a conscious memory of the loss, but can experience the a wide spectrum of emotions as a result such as:
- Shame at having survived
- Rage at the sibling for abandoning them
- Anger at the mother for causing this (blog on birth trauma coming soon!)
- Self disgust
Because these emotions often don’t have a context, they can manifest as unexplained anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness or melancholy.
I came to see Jacob out of desperation. I had been feeling just ‘not right’ for many years, and had always put this down to various things like ending relationships, parents passing and so on.
I had however come to the conclusion that there must be something else as I just couldn’t connect my feelings of sadness and loneliness to my life experiences any more. I had tried meditation, ‘positive thinking’ and various spiritual practices to try and get to the bottom of it but nothing had worked.
He explained to me what was happening and showed me how to connect to the energy field of my twin.
We then went through the grieving process for both myself and my twin so that both energy fields were at peace. I could get closure and relief for the loss of my brother which I never knew. It now feels like a big hole in my soul has been filled with peace and joy.
I have a vanishing twin myself, and to really heal the trauma took quite a bit of trial and error. The trauma was on multiple levels for me, so I’d heal a specific fear or anxiety that I had that was related to my twin, but then something else would come up and my VT (vanishing twin) energy would be a part of it.
It was only when I spent a few days really going though and healing the deepest feelings of rage, anger, self hatred and shame for me and my twins energy field that I got peace and completion.
What an experience!Jacob Reimann
Get in touch
If any of this resonates with you, and you’d like to find out if and how I can help you to safely go through the grieving process to bring closure and peace, then you can join our online Vanishing/Womb twin survivor healing group. or get in touch directly
- Zhou L, Gao X, Wu Y, Zhang Z. Analysis of pregnancy outcomes for survivors of the vanishing twin syndrome after in vitro fertilization and embryo transfer. Eur J Obstet Gynecol Reprod Biol. 2016;203:35-39. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27236603.
- Márton V, Zádori J, Kozinszky Z, Keresztúri A. Prevalences and pregnancy outcome of vanishing twin pregnancies achieved by in vitro fertilization versus natural conception. Fertil Steril. 2016;106(6):1399-1406. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27565251.
- Davies M, Rumbold A, Whitrow M, et al. Spontaneous loss of a co-twin and the risk of birth defects after assisted conception. J Dev Orig Health Dis. 2016;7(6):678-684. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27374401.